Reprinted by permission from Dr. Angie Lee, CHCC’s medical director.
I don’t usually post more than pictures of my kids (on Facebook), but today is an overwhelming day. My friends and family don’t know what I do or what I’ve seen at work. I work in palliative care, hospice and the nursing homes. People who think that COVID isn’t real or it isn’t as bad as they see in the news, they have no idea. I wish I could take you into the COVID unit with me and see what I see.
I’ve had to watch one of my favorite patients dying from COVID while I called his daughter, my coworker, to let her know that he’s dying despite everything we’re doing. “Please don’t let him suffer,” she said. His family couldn’t be at the bedside.
I would wake up at night in a panic worried that I was going to get sick from work. Then I worry that I might bring it home and get my family sick. I’ve had to isolate myself from my family for days if I even have a tickle in my throat. I worry that I will bring it into my nursing homes with my most vulnerable patients. I don’t want to be the one who infects the entire nursing home and watch 20-30% of them die. I’ve had 15 swabs in my nose so far to test for the virus and there are more to come.
I would come home and cry while my husband held me even though he didn’t understand why. The suffering I’ve seen is heartbreaking and painful.
I’ve taken care of an elderly couple who was admitted together into the COVID unit. They got to share a room. Only one of them left the hospital.
I comforted children whose mother was being taken off the ventilator after 4 weeks. They brushed her hair and bathed her and said their goodbyes. We cried together.
Today is a day of hope, gratitude and joy amongst the suffering. I’ve seen too many people die from COVID, suffer from shortness of breath, and isolated from human touch and family. The low likelihood of any adverse reaction to the vaccine pales in comparison to what COVID can do.
I ran at the chance to get the vaccine. For those of you who don’t want the vaccine or worry about side effects from the vaccine, if you have seen what I’ve seen, you wouldn’t even bat an eye to be first in line to get the shot. The science behind the vaccine is solid. Let the suffering stop. This is the beginning. #thisisourshot #shotofhope.